her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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