Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
