just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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