I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
did you just send me my own nude
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
