A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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