There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
