Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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