$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
