he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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