This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
