tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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