Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
