I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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