we're chasing vodka with high fives
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
