8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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