Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
