Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
