pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
