Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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