That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
