who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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