Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
