actually, I'm a sock model
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
