Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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