i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
