I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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