Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
