I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
