shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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