Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
