Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
