You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
