Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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