i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
