I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
