there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
