Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
