Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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