she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have feelings that need drinking.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
