Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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