he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
