whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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