The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
