My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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