Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
