You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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