I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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