there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone shit on the floor
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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