is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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