Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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