i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
