Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
