Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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